How To Save Your Relationship On Your Own

Instead of the current downward spiral – where one nasty action sparks another – you can set up a positive circle (where one kind one sparks another). In other words, you might start saving your marriage on your own but pretty soon, your partner will notice the difference, soften and become more open to change.

Here are five ways to move forward:

Look at your own contribution to the problem

It is much easier to complain about our partner's failings than look at our own. So step back and take a long look at what's been going on. When you cut away all the justifications, what do you regret doing?

Make a fulsome apology

I expect you've said 'sorry' many times before. Unfortunately, 'sorry' can become a knee-jerk reaction or a way of buying peace (even if you don't really mean it). A fulsome apology is different. It acknowledges both the unhelpful behaviour and the impact on the other person. For example: 'I wish to apologise that I haven't done more about around the house. It must have been exhausting for you and made you feel taken for granted.' Don't add an explanation (for example: 'I've had a lot of work on) as this sounds like justification and lessens the power of the fulsome apology.

Ask yourself what you would like to change?

Hopefully your fulsome apology will have drawn a line in the sand and maybe even sparked a matching one from your partner. Don't worry if your partner thinks you're just trying to sweet talk him or her or remains sceptical. Imagine for a second, your partner has said: 'Let's try again' or 'Let's work on our relationship'. What would do differently this time round? Instead of waiting for your partner, make those changes today. For example, listen more, help out more with the children or approach problems more calmly.

Challenge your interpretation of what's happening between you.

We imagine there is a straightforward link between events and feelings. Your partner does not text and you feel unloved. However, it is more complex than that. Our reaction depends on our interpretation. For example, 'he didn't text because he doesn't care.' No wonder, you get upset. However, if the interpretation is 'he didn't text because his battery is flat.' The feelings might be irritation that he forgot to charge it. Equally, if your partner does not seem to have noticed your added efforts - challenge your interpretation. If it is 'she truly doesn't really love me' the response will be despair. If it 'she is worried that I might slip back into the old ways' then the reaction might be to redouble your efforts. If you're not certain why partner behaved in a particular way, ask him or her rather than making assumptions.

Control your panic

In my experience more relationships fail after a declaration of 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' or infidelity because of the panic of the partner on the receiving end rather than the person who has fallen out of love. So when you're feeling anxious, don't push for reassurance (as this only pushes your partner away) but go for a run, phone a friend or do some deep breathing exercises.


Source: Thecoupleconnection.net

Simple Steps To The Best Orgasm Ever

If you use the following four sex techniques correctly, you are going to be able to have an orgasm every time you have sex:

1. Learn to relax. This is the most important factor you need to master if you want to have enjoyable orgasms. You need to understand that there is a vicious cycle that people often fall into when trying to reach orgasm during sex. They get uptight because they are not getting closer to orgasm and this makes it more difficult to actually orgasm.

In fact, they are further away from having an orgasm because this causes extra tension and stress which only makes matters worse and less likely for them to orgasm. Learning to relax and stop caring about having an orgasm may sound counter-intuitive, but it's actually vital if you do want to climax.

So, in order to proactively relax and let go, have sex in a place that makes you feel safe and relaxed, for example your own bedroom. Pamper yourself before you have sex. For example, take a nice, long bath or shower. Then, afterwards, slip into something really comfortable.

A surprisingly powerful way to relax is for your partner to say, "You are not allowed to orgasm tonight" or "I don't want you to orgasm." It works a little like reverse psychology and many people find that this takes just the pressure off them that they need in order to climax.

2. Make foreplay last longer. Both men and women enjoy foreplay, and it ultimately leads to stronger and more powerful orgasms for both sexes. Make sure your partner knows this!

So, how long should foreplay last? Ideally, it should last for at least 20 minutes, but it can last for much longer. By spending up to two hours caressing, kissing, massaging and rubbing your body, you will both be more relaxed and aroused than if foreplay only lasted for three minutes. And being more relaxed and aroused means that reaching orgasm will be far, far easier.

3. Turn off the lights and turn on some music. Turning the lights off when you have sex has a powerful effect. If you are self-conscious about your body, you'll find that having sex in the dark takes away a lot of the pressure.

In the dark, your partner can't see your body, he can't make eye contact with you and he can't see what you are doing. This takes a lot of the anxiety out of sex for many people.

Listening to music is great for filling the room with sound that drowns out the sounds you and your partner are making. It can also turn you on and add extra eroticism to your sex session if it's a band or artist that puts you in the mood.


Source: yourtango

President Mills Funeral Slated For August 8-10, Accra

The controversy that has surrounded the final resting place of President Mills has been laid to rest with an announcement by the family that he will be buried in Accra.

The family has slated August 8-10 for the funeral of the departed President.

According to Kwesi Amissah, a brother to President Mills, the family in consultation with government reached an agreement that the late President be buried in Accra at a special cemetery which will be announced soon.

Mr Amissah, who was speaking on Metro TV Friday afternoon from Prof Mills' family home in Akamfua in Cape Coast, said all the confusion surrounding his burial has been cleared.

He said initially, certain people had tried to demand that he buried somewhere else; those at Cape Coast had wanted him to be buried at Otuam but after meetings with government in Accra, they had agreed on the capital.

Mr Amissah stated emphatically that all the final funeral rites would be held in Accra adding there would be no other ceremonies anywhere else.

He said they were now waiting for the government to communicate the date for the funeral rites and burial.

Mr Amissah also revealed that President Mills' one week would be held at his Regimanuel Gray residence at the Spintex Road on Tuesday, July 31.


Source: Adomonline.com

NPP Bawku Central MP Jailed For Two Years

 Adamu Dramani Sakande

kasapahene.blogspot.com, can confirm that the New Patriotic Party (NPP) Member of Parliament for Bawku Central, Adamu Dramani Sakande has been convicted on three counts of Perjury, False Declaration and Deceit of a Public Officer.

He has thus been jailed two years concurrently on all counts by the Supreme court.

A Bawku-based cattle farmer, Sumaila Biebel, in March 2009, filed a suit at the High Court challenging the eligibility of the NPP MP due to his dual citizenship on the grounds that he held both British and Burkinabe passports.

The state took interest in the case and filed nine counts relating to his nationality, perjury, forgery of passport, election fraud and deceiving public officers to be elected as an MP against Mr Dramani.

He was however exonerated on six of those charges on July 8, 2010, leaving with three charges of false declaration of office, perjury and deceiving a public officer.

Adamu Sakande is also alleged to have, before the 2008 elections, made a false statement in an application to have his name included in the voters register.

The accused is also alleged to have registered as a voter when the voters register was opened, and subsequently went ahead to vote in the December 2008 general elections, when he was not entitled to do so.

Counsel for the NPP MP, Yoni Kulendi, appealed to the court to mitigate the outcome of the ruling because of the health concerns of the MP.

According to him, Mr Dramani was a victim of circumstances, since he procured the services of a certain Stanley Opoku, who claimed to be a lawyer, to help him renounce his citizenship and was led to believe the renunciation had been done.

But the court rejected the plea.


Source: peacefmonline.com/GTV

President Obama Caught Kissing...

Caught on camera

Barack Obama took a break from campaigning on Monday night - but still managed to stir up a crowd at an exhibition game for the U.S. basketball team.

The President raised a cheer when he kissed his wife Michelle while the couple was being filmed on the Kiss Cam during an interval in the match-up between the American Olympic team and Brazil's players.

But for Mr Obama, a keen basketball fan, the highlight of the night was presumably to get a close look at superstars of the sport, such as LeBron James and Kobe Bryant, working together for an 80-69 win.

The President and Joe Biden took their seats to chants of 'U-S-A' as the loudspeakers blared Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA.

'Obviously the talent that we've got at this point is unbelievable,' Mr Obama said during a halftime interview on ESPN2. 'So there's no reason that we shouldn't bring home the gold. We just have to stay focused.'

Mr Obama clearly relished the opportunity to wrap himself in the Olympic spirit four months before Election Day. His Republican rival, Mitt Romney, is expected to use the Olympics to highlight his leadership role during the 2002 Winter Games in Salt Lake City.

Mr Romney, who helped turn around the Salt Lake City Games after they became caught up in a bribery scandal, plans to be in London for the opening ceremonies next week. Mrs Obama will lead the U.S. delegation to the opening ceremonies.

Affection: Barack Obama hugs his wife as their daughter Malia averts her gaze during a basketball game
Monday night gave Mr Obama a chance to soak in his favorite sport.

After a quick ride to the Verizon Center from the White House, Mr Obama greeted members of the U.S. women's basketball team on a practice court after their win over Brazil in the first game.

'We could not be prouder,' the President said after hugging Tamika Catchings, Diana Taurasi and other members of the women's team. The team presented Mr Obama with a red USA jersey and a signed basketball.

Mr Obama, dressed in a blue jacket and jeans, then walked out before a roaring crowd, shook hands with fans and sat down next to former aide Reggie Love, who played basketball for Duke University.

The President and Michelle even appeared on 'Kiss Cam,' the in-house video that spotlights kissing couples during a game break. The Obamas would not oblige during the first half, despite roars and some boos from the crowd.

But in the fourth quarter, Kiss Cam peered back on the first couple and the President was ready: he put his arm around his wife and planted a big kiss on the First Lady as the crowd roared.


Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2174662/The-First-Kiss-President-Michelle-Kiss-Cam-Team-USA-basketball-game.html

Nigerian Women Are Most Unfaithful In The World

A survey conducted by condom manufacturer, Durex, in which 29,000 people in 36 countries were interviewed has ranked Nigerian women as the most unfaithful in the world.

According to the survey, Thailand men are the most unfaithful in the world, with 54 percent of them admitting to cheating on their spouses.

South Korea came in second with 34 percent, while Malaysia ranked number three with 33 percent. The survey revealed that the top two countries with cheating women are Nigeria, with 62 percent, and Thailand, 59 percent.

39 percent of Malaysian women also confessed to having betrayed their partners. Russian women came fourth at 33 percent while Singaporeans are fifth at 19 percent.

An independent survey also conducted in Africa by AE affirms the fact that Nigeria with a population of over 160 million tops the chart for cheating women.

Corruption and a general distrust amongst citizens is largely responsible for this.


Source: Channelstv.com

Is Lucky Mensah A Professional Musician Or Simply A Gold Digger?

Lucky Mensah

For the sake of dispelling doubts in the course of discussing Mr Lucky Mensah, I fell obligated to quote the definition of certain phrases or words.

What is a professional musician? "A professional musician is one who plays an instrument or several instruments proficiently; performing is their primary source of income". Musicians have to get lucky, get discovered, and to do that they need to be in the right place at the right time." Luck can be created, directed, manipulated and controlled”

What is a gold digger? A gold digger is a person who seeks or digs for gold in a gold field. However, I may go for its informal or slang definition - A woman who associates with or marries a man chiefly for material gain. This definition certainly applies to men as well.

Lucky Mensah is an alleged renowned musician in the eyes of many in Ghana. He made a song that clearly assisted the NDC with their 2008 electioneering campaign. It sensitized Ghanaians to the hardships under the Kufuor-led NPP government. Ghanaians acknowledge the song garnered the NDC more winning votes. That song was/is titled "Yere se sa mu"

Within the first year of the NDC ascending to the presidency and overall power, Lucky Mensah made another song. In the second song titled "Nkratu3", he viciously slurred President Mills. By the insinuating lyrics, he revealed how the President's weaknesses, mediocrity, actions and inactions are running Ghana into a ditch.

Truly and unprecedentedly, President Mills with his NDC government has performed abysmally. Lucky Mensah informed Ghanaians that the NDC have not only been ungrateful to him but also, completely ignored him. While he was in financial straitjacket, many members of the NDC with the top gurus inclusive were living in unprecedented gargantuan affluence, he said. It was and is still a fact.

This same Lucky Mensah, an opportunist without morals, made another song for the NDC after holding "palm-greasing" consultation with them. He recently announced to have made a yet to be launched campaign song for President Mills titled "Atta beye"

Mensah is a confused person in search of wealth by any foul means possible. He is neither honest with himself nor with Ghanaians. He is only in pursuit of money, cashing in on the corruptibility of the NDC government at the least opportunity. What else can explain his actions if they are not corruption-induced?

Every sensible Ghanaian knows how President Mills as unhealthy, incompetent and puppet as he is, is running down the country. Look at the propensity at which his Ministers, especially Okudzeto Ablakwah, Betty Mould-Iddrisu and Ebo Barton-Odro are not only goading dubious companies and persons to sue Ghana for judgment debt payments but also, defending such courses.

Cost of living, personal insecurity, official corruption etc. are many folds far worse under President Mills-led NDC government than they were under the Kufuor-led NPP government. This is a fact. Where then comes in with that nonsense by Lucky Mensah showering praises on President Mills and the NDC. If he is that stupid to sell his conscience for money, he should not assume he could fool Ghanaians with his songs to fall for his trickery.

Lucky Mensah is not a professional musician but a wicked, dishonest Ghanaian in pursuit of illegal wealth.

I will advise all honest Ghanaians to shun Lucky Mensah and the NDC. There should be no sympathy vote for President Mills. Ghanaians cannot stomach any further abuses by the NDC. The Ever patient God cannot even tolerate their corruption any further. God's patience I should think has waned thin for the NDC and President Mills. In the eyes of the corruption-infested NDC Ghanaians are major fools.

I call on all wise Ghanaians to embark on home-to-home, village-to-village and one-to-one campaign to educate Ghanaians about the necessity to vote President Mills and the NDC out of power on December 7, 2012. They will surely sink with Lucky Mensah, a bunch of greedy bastards!


Source: Rockson Adofo

Yes! Rawlings Met President Mills At The Castle – Kofi Adams

Prez. Mills and Fmr. Prez. Rawlings

The Special Aide to Former President Rawlings has confirmed that his boss had a meeting with the sitting President John Evans Atta Mills at the Osu castle last week.

According to Mr. Adams the meeting, which was more of a visit by the former President was quite brief adding that Mr. Rawlings went to the castle to see President Mills to find out his state of health after he returned from his medical checkup in the United States.

Speaking on Accra based Joy Fm, Mr. Adams dismissed speculations that the two – Mills and Rawlings, met in Equatorial Guinea at the behest of the President of that country – Obiang Mbasogo Nguema.

He added that former President Jerry Rawlings was in Equatorial Guinea but on a totally different mission contrary to speculations that the two were invited by Mr. Mbasogo Nguema who is alleged to be trying to mediate peace between the two.

According to Mr. Adams, he cannot tell whether other meetings are scheduled or not.


Source: citifmonline.com

Share the wealth son! Mario Balotelli's mum gets job as £6-an-hour office cleaner to make ends meet

A mother's work: Rose returns from shopping to her home on the estate where the TV show Shameless was filmed Sunday Mirror

Manchester City star's mum Rose polishing desks and living on the estate from Shameless while he polishes his medals and enjoys his £120k-a-week wages

The mum of multi-­millionaire footballer Mario Balotelli has a new job to make ends meet... working as a ­CLEANER at an office block.

And while the ­Manchester City and Italy star drives to work in his £120,000 Bentley Continental GT, skint Rose ­Barwuah’s more modest mode of transport is the Number 11 bus.

She is scraping a living doing evening shifts as a Mrs Mop at the ­offices of a car lease company for close to the £6-an-hour minimum wage.

On Thursday Rose flashed her pass to the bus driver as she made her way for her evening’s work at the block of ­offices on the outskirts of Cheadle, Greater Manchester.

Before heading into work, she made a short stop-off at budget supermarket Aldi on her way to Lex Autolease.

She later traipsed back to the stop before getting on the Stagecoach bus back to Cheadle village.

Rose, 46, who gave Mario up for ­adoption when he was two, moved to the ­Manchester area last ­Christmas to be close to the £120,000-a-week striker.

She lives on an estate in ­Wythenshawe, which was used to film Shameless, the Channel 4 comedy about families living on the dole in council houses.

Keeping it real: Rose uses her bus pass on the trusty Number 11
Sunday Mirror


Striker Mario has visited her there several times... stunning residents by turning up his white Bentley.

The source said: “She came over here from Italy with her daughter.

“A lot of people on the estate who know who her famous son is can’t quite believe she is working as a cleaner.

“It is a bit odd that while he is polishing his Premier League winner’s medal she is polishing desks.

“Mario has been round the house, sometimes with his brother Enoch. It is a real sight to see his white ­Bentley parked up outside.

“It was a surprise to see Rose rock up on this estate when he is earning millions of pounds and lives in a huge house in Alderley Edge.

“But fair play to Rose, she has got on with things and is willing to graft for not a lot of money.

“Apparently she does not want any of Mario’s money. It looks like she is settled here and is here to stay.”

This week Mario, 21, has been pictured larking around on a jetski in Ibiza and drinking champagne with pals on the French Riviera.

But while the Manchester City ­favourite has been living it up after the Euro 2012 tournament, Rose, who previously worked at ­Wythenshawe Market, has been living out her more modest existence on the sprawling ­council ­estate.

Living it up: Mario has been in Ibiza after an impressive showing at Euro 2012


Rose and her husband Thomas, who are from Ghana, gave Mario up for adoption when he was two and he was taken in by the wealthy Balotelli family. They had been advised to give him up because they were living in a tiny flat in Brescia, Italy, and Mario had a life-threatening intestinal condition that was made worse by their cramped conditions.

They later claimed the Balotellis turned Mario against them.

But, talking of attempts to rekindle her relationship with her famous son, Rose has said: “Mario has been over to see me a few times.

“We don’t see each other all the time as he has his life and I have mine.”

The source added: “Rose isn’t afraid of hard work and isn’t scared of getting her hands dirty. She believes in working and having a job.

“She managed to find a job on ­Wythenshawe market. It was getting up at the crack of dawn and helping to set up the stalls. It meant getting up very early but she was more than willing to do it.

"But the cleaning work in the evenings suits her better with Angel because she can spend more time with her in the mornings. Rose has settled in really well in Manchester and it looks like she has no intention of going back to Italy.

“There has been talk that Thomas will be joining her as well.

“Rose is happy to be near Mario and Angel really likes seeing her famous brother as well as Enoch.

“She has made quite a lot of friends in the area. She is also very religious and really enjoys attending one of the local churches.”

Balotelli, who lives in a rented £3m mansion in Alderley Edge and also drives a £130,000 Maserati and a £60,000 Range Rover, was Italy’s hero at Euro 2012. He fired two goals past Germany to take them into the finals, where they were beaten by Spain.

Home sweet home: Balotelli's mansion in Alderley Edge is a far cry from Rose's humble abode
Sunday Mirror

But this week he was caught up in a row after demanding a paternity test on his pregnant ex-girlfriend Raffaella Fico’s baby.

Reports initially said that the striker was delighted at the news but in a ­statement he later said he would only accept full responsibility for the child if a DNA test proves it is his.

His stance has infuriated Raffaella’s brother ­Francesco, who said it was shameful and ­offensive. Raffaella, 27, who is four months pregnant, split from ­Balotelli in March after a row.

Balotelli, nicknamed Super Mario, joined Manchester City in August 2010 and has become one of the club’s biggest stars, scoring 44 goals in two seasons.

But he has become known just as much for his antics off the pitch.

In October the mansion he was living in caught fire after a firework was let off in the bathroom. He also angered neighbours by ­turning his back garden into a race track for quad bikes.

SOURCE: SUNDAY MIRROR

15 great first date questions

There they sit—you could spot them a mile away. A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. No doubt about it, they’re on their first date.

How do we know it’s their first time out together? All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed and wearing freshly pressed clothes—stylish, but not overdone. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact.

Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. He seems tongue-tied, she seems self-conscious. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation.

Him: How’s your salad?

Her: Good. And yours?

Him: Yeah, really good.

More excruciating silence ensues. You can almost read their minds. He thinks, “C’mon, say something! Anything! This is torture.” She thinks, “Why doesn’t he ask me any questions? Or maybe I should—but I don’t know what to say! How can I get out of this?”
On it goes. More mute lulls. More perfunctory questions. More salad staring.

As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. It remains to be seen if it will pick up speed, gain altitude, and soar skyward...or if it will lose engine power and sit on the tarmac indefinitely.

Singles: do not let this happen to you! It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society. Sometimes they lead to burning love; sometimes they go down in flames. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse:

Listen as much or more than you talk. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. Each person gets a turn—and no one hogs the ball.

Peel the onion, don’t stab it with a paring knife. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. It’s a slow and safe process. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. For now, take it easy.

Don’t dump. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy.

Genuine interest goes a long way. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. Either way, it’s exciting to be able to get to know another human being and get a peek into his or her world. Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.

With those thoughts in mind, now it’s time to think about specific first date questions.

Try these:

1. Who has been the biggest influence in your life?

2. What kinds of things really make you laugh?

3. What’s your favorite place in the entire world?

4. Who is your best friend? What do you like about him/her?

5. Favorite movie of all time? Why so?

6. What’s your biggest goal in life right now?

7. What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday?

8. Do you have any pet peeves?

9. What was your family like growing up?

10. What were you like as a kid?

11. What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?

12. Did you—or do you—have a nickname? What’s the story behind it?

13. Who was your favorite schoolteacher or college professor? Why?

14. Have you figured out your calling in life? What is it?

15. What do you hate most about the dating process? (Tell me so I can avoid it!)

Maybe you’ve got your own great first date questions, surefire winners that get the conversation rolling. If not, use these and come up with others—but by all means, give some forethought to how you’d like a discussion with a new partner to unfold. You’ll give yourself a chance at a magnificent, rather than miserable, first date.

source:advice.eharmony.com

14 facts you should never share on a first date

"Financially, I'm doing great or awful"

Many people draw conclusions about others based on their income, investments, family wealth (or poverty), and so on. You want to be evaluated on who you are—your personality, beliefs, ambitions—not your income-generating potential.

This goes for in-depth conversation that may conspicuously point out your wealth. (“I do like to summer at my home in San-Tropez.”)

"My last relationship was a disaster"

Less history equals more mystery, or something to that effect. There is no need to go in-depth about how you were wronged or who you may have wronged (oops!) during a first date.

Try being a good listener and finding out all about your date, rather than filling the hour with romantic horror stories.

It’s often tempting to fall into stories of horrible dates, as we all have them, but if you’re not careful one of those stories may say more about you than your bad date partner.

"I did want to tell you a dark secret..."

This may seem obvious, but you cannot trust someone you just met with really personal information. Give them time to prove their trustworthiness, and keep it light on that first encounter.

There is no “full disclosure” rule in effect on a first date. You have the right to withhold almost every unflattering fact until it is established that you like each other and want to pursue things.

"I'm in recovery"

Many of us have them and deal with them and are proud of overcoming personal demons – but it is best to wait a bit before revealing this particular piece of sensitive information.

Again, keeping it fun and light on a first date is highly recommended! Of course, it may come up, and that’s fine. (“Oh, do you not want any wine with dinner?”) Just don’t feel that you have a responsibility to share this detail.

"Life just isn't working out for me right now"

If everything in your life isn’t where you want it to be, that’s fine. The LAST thing you want to do on a first date is to apologize for where you are in that journey.
You may need to find a job, get a better job, finish school, move to a nicer place, lose some weight, or any number of things, but be proud of who you are and don’t express your dissatisfaction to your date.

"My family is crazy!"
So your mom left your dad for his best friend, or you found out five years ago about a long lost sibling.
Most of us have some sort of familial skeletons in the closet, but it isn’t fair to your family to reveal this to someone you just met. Over-share can equal sudden dating death!

Liar, Liar

Embellishing the story of your life is never a good idea.
Some people feel that they are not exciting and experience pressure to exaggerate their life. Be honest and truthful about who you are, you want your date to fall in love with you as you really are. Not some amped up version.

"Will you marry me?"

Yes, it happens. Should it? Never! Even if you feel an amazing connection or intense infatuation -- keep your feet on the ground.
Let’s add to that any kind of “Oh my God, you’re so perfect for me!” talk. It places additional pressure on the situation and can take a nice, pleasant first date and make it very creepy very quickly.

"I think we're going to be great friends"
Unless you discover you have no attraction for your date, uttering this phrase will put you in the friend zone forever. There are people who use online dating services to meet friends, but it’s really not the point.

"I'm still in love with my ex"
You may think you are being honest, but the reality is you are posting a giant red flag with a comment like this. Plus, you probably shouldn’t even be dating if this statement is true.

"Do you mind if I use a coupon for dinner?"
You may be smart with your money or saving for a rainy day, but one thing that is a turnoff for many is someone that could be cheap. Save the coupons for a bit later in the dating process, please.

"Do you want to come back to my place?"
You might not use these exact words, but any kind of heavy sexual come-on is a terrible first date idea. In fact, sex on a first date is typically a big mistake, if for no other reason, because of its power to affect your decision making skills.

"I hate my job"
Keep the negativity to a minimum – no one wants to be around or get to know a pessimistic person. Having a sense of humor about life and positive outlook is what 98% of eHarmony users rate as a definite must have.

"I'm obsessed with Botox"

So you had crow’s feet that bothered you for years – and you decided to do something about them. That is completely ok and your prerogative, but could send the wrong, superficial signals to someone who has just met you.
Save the plastic surgery wish list for later – once they know all of your other wonderful qualities!

credit:advice.eharmony.com

Better sex from food

Do you know the most important factor in good sexual health? It's your mind.

Studies involving men and women have shown that it is the mind that determines sexual performance and drive more than anything else. Men and women were given a placebo and told that it would increase their libido and performance; the majority stated that they saw a significant increase in those areas, which shows us that it is the mind more than a pill that is responsible for the change.

So what does food have to do with sexual and emotional health and how the mind works to help us have better health?

For women, the addition of soy in the diet will help in vaginal lubrication because soy adheres to the estrogen receptors, which are responsible for determining how much lubrication the vagina needs. It also helps to reduce the occurrence of hot flashes that happen during menopause. For men, soy is beneficial to helping the prostate stay healthy. Adding chili peppers and ginger to your diet will help improve your circulation and stimulate nerve endings, which will improve your sexual pleasure.

Another added benefit to eating heart-healthy foods is that they also help a man's sexual health by keeping the blood flowing properly through the arteries. High blood pressure and coronary artery disease can affect the function of the male organs due to the inability of the blood flow to reach the genital area, which can cause erectile dysfunction.

There are also a number of foods that are said to directly affect sexual performance due to their aphrodisiac influence. These foods include ginseng, bananas, figs, asparagus, eels, oysters and rhino horn, which supposedly increases sexual appetite.

There are many myths that pertain to food and sexual health that date back thousands of years; for example, that eating certain roots that are phallic shaped will increase a man's performance, but there are some true benefits from certain foods and beverages.

The consumption of alcohol relaxes you and gives you a short-term artificial boost in self confidence. Caffeine and sugar are the solution for a quick energy fix. But it is the diet we follow daily for a long time that will promote better sexual health.

Eating lean foods like fish along with fruits and vegetables is not just good for your sexual health but for your heart as well.


source: livestrong.com

Society dislikes fat women – shocking study

"We need to rethink our approaches to, and views of, weight and obesity,” concludes study co-author Kerry O’Brien. 

Obesity is a chronic and serious medical condition and according to many physicians, obesity is not a choice – it is a disease. We don’t discriminate against people with cancer, arthritis or other health disorders, and we certainly don’t discriminate against people based on their sex, race or handicap and yet society continues to openly discriminate against the obese.

Obese people are prejudiced as being lazy, which makes it harder for them to find a job and get promoted, they are charged more for their clothing and some airlines even require the obese to purchase two airline tickets.

The obesity stigma

Women have a higher risk of obesity than men do, which is likely due to the fact that they have a naturally lower muscle mass and metabolic rate, which makes weight loss harder to obtain.

Despite this fact, the pressure to lose weight is greater for obese women than it is for men; they are subjected to more social stigma, and they are deprived of intimate relationships, friendships, social interactions, education, income and respect.

“Obese and female is as bad as it gets,” states nutritional and medical research advisor to the Danish government Berit Heitmann.

Unfortunately, there appears to be no way for obese women to transcend the anti-fat prejudice because a new study has found that society continues to discriminate against formerly obese women even after they achieve substantial weight loss.

Females and the weight loss battle

The study was conducted by the University of Hawaii at Manoa, The University of Manchester, and Monash University and it was published in the May 29th edition of the journal Obesity. The researchers of the study asked men and women to read descriptions of women who had either maintained a stable weight or had obtained 70 pounds of weight loss, and who were either presently obese or presently thin.

After reading the vignettes, the participants were asked questions about the women’s perceived attractiveness as well as other perceived attributes and they were also questioned on their overall dislike for fat people.

“We were surprised to find that currently thin women were viewed differently depending on their weight history,” said study leader Janet Latner, in a news release from the University of Manchester, England. “Those who had been obese in the past were perceived as less attractive than those who had always been thin, despite having identical height and weight.”

Obesity Stigma – Making weight loss more difficult

Another disturbing finding of the study was that the participants demonstrated an even greater prejudice towards obese people after they were falsely told that weight loss is easily attainable.

“Descriptions of weight loss, such as those often promoted on television, may significantly worsen obesity stigma. Believing that obese people can easily lose weight may make individuals blame and dislike obese people more,” said Dr.Latner.

According to Doctor Scott Kahan, of John Hopkins University, science has revealed that a person’s risk of obesity is largely based upon genetics, physiology, environmental factors and upbringing, yet “…people continue to dismiss obesity as a willful misconduct, and label people who have obesity as lazy and weak.”

“Weight status actually appears rather uncontrollable, regardless of one’s willpower, knowledge and dedication. Yet many people who are perceived as ‘fat’ are struggling in vain to lose weight in order to escape this painful social stigma. We need to rethink our approaches to, and views of, weight and obesity,” concludes study co-author Kerry O’Brien.



source: belmarrahealth.com

Ghana Meets Naija

Kwaw Kesse performing in his bathrobe

The second edition of the Ghana Meets Naija Concert truly lived up to its billing as the finest acts from Ghana and Nigeria left the fans that gathered at the Dome yelling for more.

Gradually establishing itself as one of the biggest concerts not only in Ghana but in West Africa, this year’s edition brought together the crème de la crème on the Nigerian music scene who squared it up with their counterparts from Ghana.

The much anticipated show was set in motion by Keti Keke star, Sala who gave credence to why she is the next big thing to come from Ghana.

When it got to the turn of Ghana’s number one female Afro-Dancehall artiste, Kaakie not only did she rock the stage with her hit track Ewobut she equally dished Too much to her fans as well.

At this stage, the concert had gathered momentum and the packed house at the Dome were bracing themselves up for the real showdown.

One of Ghana’s ace Master of Ceremonies, Kofi Okyere Darko (KOD) who was partnered by Nigeria’s comedian, Julius Agwu dictated the pace of the show with Julius Agwu intermittently sending the audience bursting with laughter with his jokes.

As musicians from the two countries squared it up for supremacy, Ghana’s DJ Black, DJ Mensa and Nigeria’s DJ Neptune were also doing their own thing on the turntables churning out good music to the delight of the audience.

When Kwaw Kese mounted the stage, he was in his usual creative self dressed in bathrobe with a towel around his neck. The Abodam man virtually set the Dome ablaze when he dropped Poppin which he featured Dadie Opanka.

Another Ghanaian musician who starred on the night was the Lapaz Toyota man, Guru whose hit track, Lapaz Toyota also set the Dome agog especially the skillful sexy dancers who accompanied him to the stage.

When it got to the turn of Keche, they turned on the style with their hit song, Sokode before rendering crowd favorite, Aluguntugui which lit up the packed auditorium.

On the night, Tiwa Savage was one of the Nigerians artistes who gave a good account of herself on stage. The sexy Kele Kele star had a very strong stage presence and was cheered on all the way through her display.

Arguably Ghana’s best hip-life trio, 4X4 were also in full swing as they also put on a characteristic thrilling performance of some of their best tracks such as Fresh One, World Trade Center, Hot Girl Dot Com, Yesi Yesi, Waist and Power among others.

The night would have been incomplete if the Ara man, Brymo had not performed his wonders on stage. Brymo’s Ara was no doubt the biggest act to happen to this year’s edition of Ghana Meets Naija.

Whiles performing his Wonders, Brymo the man on Chocolate City label wowed the audience especially the ladies as he took off his shirt leaving him bare-chested as they cheered him on.

Although this was the first time Nigerian artiste Davido was performing his club banger Dami Duro on any stage in Ghana, he never appeared intimidated as the track reverberated in the Dome amidst cheers from the packed house.

Some performances on the night that deserve mention came from Tema based R2Bees with their hit Ajei track as well as one of Ghana’s brightest rap sensations, Cartoon of Talented Kids fame who also drove the audience mad with his sleek freestyle rap.

At the end of the friendly hostilities, it appeared the folks from Naija put in a much spirited performance than they did last year giving their host a good run for their money.

Nevertheless, music was the winner.

credit:myjoyonline